TL;DR Version: I don't even know, you guys. I just...urgh.
Twilight II: NEW MOON ZOMG!
Spoiler-Free (aside from what I knew going into the movie):
Look, I hate the Twilight books. I'm not talking flames on the side of my face, but I made several frustrated growls while reading them. But, that's all a rant for another post.
No matter how I feel about the books, I feel like it's important to remember that the movie is not a book, it's a movie. So, here was me trying to go to see it. I was pleasantly surprised by the first movie, as it spared us all the horrible writing in the books and was just an unmotivated romance story that somehow turned into an epic vampire fight (Alice doing ballet-what-nots before ripping off hippie-hair vampire's head? Awesome). Granted, the pitiful dialogue was still in the movie. As far as I had expected, that pitiful dialogue would be in this movie as well.
I knew they were showing Edward's face when he talked Bella out of motorcycle suicide, as opposed to just his voice (because audience members won't understaaaaand otherwise). I was told that the blank pages of months passing would be replaced by a window montage*. I heard that the fursplosions were non-cheesey (not in terms of story, like, the CGI you guys)**. These were all basic things I either saw from trailers or heard from those who saw early premieres.
And so I walked into the theatre with this in mind, and my posse and I sat and waited. We played "Previously on Twilight:" in order to recap everything we could remember from the first movie for the sake of understanding the continuity from the audience perspective. We listened to cougars behind us talk about Opra, SMeyer, and OMGSHIRTLESSJACOBSQUEE. We noted that, really, every Twihard in the theater had a Blackberry or iPhone and, upon quick peeking, I noticed they were Tweeting anticipation (really, kids? You can't just, you know, share the experience with the people you're with?!). I pondered if they would Tweet the movie (short answer: one girl did, two rows in front of us. And, she slouched down really low to try to hide the glare of the screen). And then, an hour before showtime, half my posse and I got reckless and we went on a mission to buy a magazine, that ended up just being a walk around downtown to stretch our legs and a strategic pee-break before the bathrooms exploded into maximum capacity RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW (as they always do).
I also began texting Ashley and Dinah before the show. Dinah was at a different Twilight premiere, and sported her Team Shovel shirt. Personally, I thought it meant to just bury "the spare". Bludgeoning worked exceptionally well too, though.
And then the greatest thing happened; the lights dimmed, the projector started rolling, we covered our ears, and a defening scream came from the audience...that stopped slowly in a pathetic dwindle-out, "Oh, wait, that's not the movie...shit, let's pretend we were excited for the Lovely Bones trailer. Woooo?" I laughed.
I laughed harder still when the actual movie started and the girls were clueless about such ("Wait, is this it? I CAN'T TELL BECAUSE YOU CHANGED THE SOUNDTRACK AND THE FILTER! NO MOAR BLUUUUUUUE!").
AND THEN THE MOVIE STARTED. WARNING: SPOILERS.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Flustered Fury Flurry
Dear Mechanics of the World,
I am lady. I am aware. You, obviously, are also aware of that fact, as I am aware you are (generally) man.
If you came into my work, which is generally comprised of females (I am a seamstress), and said to me, "this zipper won't work. I think some teeth are broken," I would not arch my eyebrows at you and say, "well, little boy, I think you don't know what you're talking about. You probably just haven't tried pulling the zipper up." No, I would listen intently, give you an estimate, and then take the zippered-article of clothing into the back and attempt zipping it to asses the problem based on your description. Why? Because I have the good common sense to know that just because you are a man walking into a trade establishment dominated by ladies, you may still know enough about your article of clothing to know when the zipper is not working, as opposed to user error. And, even if that's not the case, I still have the good sense not to be condescending to a customer in my workplace. If I did, you might (reasonably) take your patronage elsewhere, and I would be without customer.
The problem (double standard, if you will) arises out of the fact that all of you seem to act this way towards your lady-customers, so we are left without alternative places to go.
I am tired of this. I am tired of waiting on the schedule of my [male figure: brother, father, friend, etc.] so that I may take him with me to your shop so you will actually listen to me. I am tired of how when I resort to doing this, you only look at and talk to [male figure] to discuss the issue of my car, even when I'm the one telling you everything about it. I'm tired of showing up on my own, and you making stupid comments like, "well, you probably just think you did that. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take a look and do it right." Your sexist comments are not charming.
Yes, I am a lady. However, when I say "I've already changed the [seemingly problem element: brake fluid, transmission fluid, oil, coolant, tire, etc.], and the car's still not working properly, which makes me think it has something to do with [element out of repair control when not in a car shop: pipes, wiring, cylinders, engine, etc.], which is why I've brought it here." This does not mean I've Googled "Things under the hood("OH MY GOD, PEOPLE PIERCE THAT?!")" and have come into your business hoping my terminology will totes give me some sort of "shop cred". It means I did those things. There is still a problem. Please fix it as best you can, based on the information I've given you.
Granted, I understand that you might possibly think I have no idea what I'm talking about, as I am sure there are plenty of ladies out there who fit that stereotype of knowing nothing about cars; who have never had the "luxury" of driving junkers and learning to navigate under the hood and problem solve on their own. But, that doesn't mean that all ladies are like that and should suffer your eye roll. It means, just as it means when you come into my female-dominated shop, that we are a customer, and deserve to be treated with respect. It means you should at least try to talk to us before using [male figure] as a liaison. It means that I am not incompetent or entirely dependent just because I am female. It means if you call me "little" one more time, I'm going to show you just how un-lady like I can be.
So take that wrench you're waving around (so you can look busy), shove it up your ass, listen to what I say, and then fix my god-damned car.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
All your "Little Ladies"
I am lady. I am aware. You, obviously, are also aware of that fact, as I am aware you are (generally) man.
If you came into my work, which is generally comprised of females (I am a seamstress), and said to me, "this zipper won't work. I think some teeth are broken," I would not arch my eyebrows at you and say, "well, little boy, I think you don't know what you're talking about. You probably just haven't tried pulling the zipper up." No, I would listen intently, give you an estimate, and then take the zippered-article of clothing into the back and attempt zipping it to asses the problem based on your description. Why? Because I have the good common sense to know that just because you are a man walking into a trade establishment dominated by ladies, you may still know enough about your article of clothing to know when the zipper is not working, as opposed to user error. And, even if that's not the case, I still have the good sense not to be condescending to a customer in my workplace. If I did, you might (reasonably) take your patronage elsewhere, and I would be without customer.
The problem (double standard, if you will) arises out of the fact that all of you seem to act this way towards your lady-customers, so we are left without alternative places to go.
I am tired of this. I am tired of waiting on the schedule of my [male figure: brother, father, friend, etc.] so that I may take him with me to your shop so you will actually listen to me. I am tired of how when I resort to doing this, you only look at and talk to [male figure] to discuss the issue of my car, even when I'm the one telling you everything about it. I'm tired of showing up on my own, and you making stupid comments like, "well, you probably just think you did that. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take a look and do it right." Your sexist comments are not charming.
Yes, I am a lady. However, when I say "I've already changed the [seemingly problem element: brake fluid, transmission fluid, oil, coolant, tire, etc.], and the car's still not working properly, which makes me think it has something to do with [element out of repair control when not in a car shop: pipes, wiring, cylinders, engine, etc.], which is why I've brought it here." This does not mean I've Googled "Things under the hood
Granted, I understand that you might possibly think I have no idea what I'm talking about, as I am sure there are plenty of ladies out there who fit that stereotype of knowing nothing about cars; who have never had the "luxury" of driving junkers and learning to navigate under the hood and problem solve on their own. But, that doesn't mean that all ladies are like that and should suffer your eye roll. It means, just as it means when you come into my female-dominated shop, that we are a customer, and deserve to be treated with respect. It means you should at least try to talk to us before using [male figure] as a liaison. It means that I am not incompetent or entirely dependent just because I am female. It means if you call me "little" one more time, I'm going to show you just how un-lady like I can be.
So take that wrench you're waving around (so you can look busy), shove it up your ass, listen to what I say, and then fix my god-damned car.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
All your "Little Ladies"
Monday, October 12, 2009
Just a Bad Seed is All
Columbus was a hack. He was probably the biggest geography fail in history and another epic fail at navigation. What's more, he was a selfish prick that had no loyalty to any country but himself, and when he arrived in the northern Americas, with its thriving native population, he killed in sadistic, terrifying, ungodly ways.
But, you know, American public schools like pretending he was a hero, so, let's raise a glass.
On another note, I went to the fabric store yesterday with my mother to get the materials for my Halloween costume. Four hours later (two of which were dedicated to hand-pleating), I was finished with said costume. Pardon my excitement, but I feel the necessity to continuously show off the teaser picture.
Can YOU tell what it is? Let's face it, it's pretty goddamn iconic.
Also, this was really fun to make. I didn't have a pattern or anything, basically because I was all like "frig that. I work in a costume shop. I earn my bread by making and tailoring clothes. I got this in my sleep."
I got twenty minutes into the project, and started thinking such cockiness probably wasn't a good idea. But, oh, wait, I actually did have this shit in my sleep, and I'm telling you, even my mom (who has been sewing for over fifty years, and is the best I know) was extremely impressed. See also: it's just plain hard to impress my mom, so, O HAI EGO, YOU SO BIG I FLOAT AWAAAAAAAAY!
In other news, I am aware that I haven't updated in a while. No, that's not an apology, that's an "here, have a long entry."
I updated my photography fairly recently. Granted, I'm still using the camera phone to take pictures, but, it's the quality of the photographer and not the camera that counts, right? Some linkage to that craftiness:
Gladiator's Chain mail by ~Aelfie on deviantART
Calm After the Storm by ~Aelfie on deviantART
It's supposed to rain today. A lot. This is going to be great.
When I got home last night, my superstitious neighbor saw my shiny car and asked "So, A, did you take that some place, or do it yourself?"
"Oh, I did it myself, yesterday." I replied.
"So it's your fault it's going to rain."
I found this to be more hilarious than it probably should be.
But, you know, American public schools like pretending he was a hero, so, let's raise a glass.
On another note, I went to the fabric store yesterday with my mother to get the materials for my Halloween costume. Four hours later (two of which were dedicated to hand-pleating), I was finished with said costume. Pardon my excitement, but I feel the necessity to continuously show off the teaser picture.
Can YOU tell what it is? Let's face it, it's pretty goddamn iconic.
Also, this was really fun to make. I didn't have a pattern or anything, basically because I was all like "frig that. I work in a costume shop. I earn my bread by making and tailoring clothes. I got this in my sleep."
I got twenty minutes into the project, and started thinking such cockiness probably wasn't a good idea. But, oh, wait, I actually did have this shit in my sleep, and I'm telling you, even my mom (who has been sewing for over fifty years, and is the best I know) was extremely impressed. See also: it's just plain hard to impress my mom, so, O HAI EGO, YOU SO BIG I FLOAT AWAAAAAAAAY!
In other news, I am aware that I haven't updated in a while. No, that's not an apology, that's an "here, have a long entry."
I updated my photography fairly recently. Granted, I'm still using the camera phone to take pictures, but, it's the quality of the photographer and not the camera that counts, right? Some linkage to that craftiness:
Gladiator's Chain mail by ~Aelfie on deviantART
Calm After the Storm by ~Aelfie on deviantART
It's supposed to rain today. A lot. This is going to be great.
When I got home last night, my superstitious neighbor saw my shiny car and asked "So, A, did you take that some place, or do it yourself?"
"Oh, I did it myself, yesterday." I replied.
"So it's your fault it's going to rain."
I found this to be more hilarious than it probably should be.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
If any of you were curious, yes, I have a Twitter.
I've been toying with the idea of setting up a Twitter feed on my blog, but I can't seem to make it work. Maybe it's a sign.
I've been toying with the idea of setting up a Twitter feed on my blog, but I can't seem to make it work. Maybe it's a sign.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
9 Review - Sans the Spoilers
First, let us start with the trailer, as it seems a good place to begin.
The trailer suggests 9 is a post-apocalyptic, intensely dark, action-filled animated drama, even using Coheed and Cambria as a soundtrack to the clip.
I find the trailer to be very misleading.
Yes, it is post-apocalyptic, and it is dark in a very beautiful way, but I feel the trailer does no justice to what the movie is. The best way I can find to relay it is to say it's sort of sweet and wholesome, and the darkness is in its own way cute. The plot and pacing move slower than you'd expect from the trailer. 9 moves and has the same feel as Nightmare Before Christmas, but without the musical numbers.
The group of people I saw the movie with were sorely disappointed, and I believe this is because of how misleading the trailer was. It is a very well-done movie, and I would like to own it, but I think it is very disappointing if you're not going to see a sweet film about humanity with morals (no, it doesn't beat you over the head with themWall-E).
The more I think about it, the more I liked it, knowing what it is as opposed to what it was advertised as. It was cuddly and eccentric as I remember Tim Burton to be from my childhood. Of course, I would like to see the movie that was in the trailer, but I can appreciate 9 for being well-done; well-written, well-animated, visually stunning, and a gentle, all-ages-appropriate film.
I'm confident more audiences will enjoy it knowing its soft qualities beforehand so they don't also feel mislead.
I had so much more to say, but it's late, I'm tired, so I'll just add when I remember later.
The trailer suggests 9 is a post-apocalyptic, intensely dark, action-filled animated drama, even using Coheed and Cambria as a soundtrack to the clip.
I find the trailer to be very misleading.
Yes, it is post-apocalyptic, and it is dark in a very beautiful way, but I feel the trailer does no justice to what the movie is. The best way I can find to relay it is to say it's sort of sweet and wholesome, and the darkness is in its own way cute. The plot and pacing move slower than you'd expect from the trailer. 9 moves and has the same feel as Nightmare Before Christmas, but without the musical numbers.
The group of people I saw the movie with were sorely disappointed, and I believe this is because of how misleading the trailer was. It is a very well-done movie, and I would like to own it, but I think it is very disappointing if you're not going to see a sweet film about humanity with morals (no, it doesn't beat you over the head with them
The more I think about it, the more I liked it, knowing what it is as opposed to what it was advertised as. It was cuddly and eccentric as I remember Tim Burton to be from my childhood. Of course, I would like to see the movie that was in the trailer, but I can appreciate 9 for being well-done; well-written, well-animated, visually stunning, and a gentle, all-ages-appropriate film.
I'm confident more audiences will enjoy it knowing its soft qualities beforehand so they don't also feel mislead.
I had so much more to say, but it's late, I'm tired, so I'll just add when I remember later.
Friday, August 21, 2009
SNAPE, YOU GUYS. IT'S SNAPE!
He CAME!
I was going for a refill of coffee, when I hear a rustle at the front door. "It can't be," I think to myself, "there was no doorbell, so, it couldn't have been the delivery guy."
But, being that I'm a little OCD and control-freakish about people being on my front porch, I had to check, and it was HIM.
So, obviously, I call Ashley first and put her on speaker phone while I open his box. Comments about terrorists ensue, as, I could not get the box to open. Much struggle later, and there he was:
Obviously, he looks quite a bit groggy and in need of a stretch all confined to plastic like that. However, when I took him out of the box, he kind of spazzed on me.
Obviously, this is fairly rude, as, I am giving him the best possible home. I explained this to him, and that the desk area was all his own, and that I would appreciate not being threatened with magic by such a powerful wizard thank-you-very-much.
Snape-kins has now resigned to a quiet wander as he takes stock of his new territory.
Isn't he seriously gorgeous? I know it's hard to tell with these pictures because they're from my phone and the lighting isn't that great in here after noon, but he's beautiful. You may just have to take my word for it until I can upload some better pictures.
Also, you guys, he has a smell. It's like plastic or rubber or I don't know what, but only kind of. It's more, sort of, unique to him and I really love it. O_O
I was going for a refill of coffee, when I hear a rustle at the front door. "It can't be," I think to myself, "there was no doorbell, so, it couldn't have been the delivery guy."
But, being that I'm a little OCD and control-freakish about people being on my front porch, I had to check, and it was HIM.
So, obviously, I call Ashley first and put her on speaker phone while I open his box. Comments about terrorists ensue, as, I could not get the box to open. Much struggle later, and there he was:
Obviously, he looks quite a bit groggy and in need of a stretch all confined to plastic like that. However, when I took him out of the box, he kind of spazzed on me.
Obviously, this is fairly rude, as, I am giving him the best possible home. I explained this to him, and that the desk area was all his own, and that I would appreciate not being threatened with magic by such a powerful wizard thank-you-very-much.
Snape-kins has now resigned to a quiet wander as he takes stock of his new territory.
Isn't he seriously gorgeous? I know it's hard to tell with these pictures because they're from my phone and the lighting isn't that great in here after noon, but he's beautiful. You may just have to take my word for it until I can upload some better pictures.
Also, you guys, he has a smell. It's like plastic or rubber or I don't know what, but only kind of. It's more, sort of, unique to him and I really love it. O_O
Little Ninja Bug of Evil: The Epic Retelling
Before we dive in: No Snape yet. I'm hoping today is the day, but trying not to get my hopes up too high. I have found him a writing quill and have prepared him his own special place on my desk in preparation (one where he has easy access to behind the books should he feel the need to brood), and he has srs access to my "Sirius a la Padfoot a la dalmatian" Beanie Baby.
Just a reminder: yes, the person writing this blog is that kind of person.
On to the story of which this post was titled after.
This was seriously one of the most traumatic and terrorizing events in the history of everor, at least, in the history of the past week and from my perspective.
At Ashley's request, I am posting the story of the Little Ninja Bug of Evil. This is taken from an AIM conversation between her and myself, and I've tried to edit it slightly to allow it to read easier. By this, I mean I took our constant non-sequiturs (of which, we tend to often have a lot) out of the text to provide just the story.
Little Ninja Bug of Evil:
Me: So, I was all like "I'm hungry" and there was this bag of chips on the counter and it was all like "You should eat me"
Ashley: ARE WE TALKING VIRUS BUG OR INSECT BUG
Me: Insect bug
Me: So, I go and open the bag and go to get a plate and I turn around
Ashley: DDD:
Me: and there was this GIANT FUCKING PRAYING MANTIS RIGHT NEXT TO THE OPEN BAG OF CHIPS
Me: and I was like "OMG!"
Ashley: OMG
Ashley: WHAT DID YOU DO
Me: And I know that they're supposed to be good luck when in the house and some shit I don't even know, but I was like O_O
Ashley: NO
Ashley: THAT'S CRICKETS
Ashley: NOT MANTI
Me: I think it's both.
Me: 'Cause my mom gets super fangirl every time one gets in the house
Ashley: MANTI WILL KILL YOU AFTER MATING, HOW IS THAT LUCKY
Ashley: THAT'S BAD HOOK UP STRATEGY
Me: IKR? But...they're like the fucking ninja of the insect world and that's all like ~*RESPECT*~ in some Asian culture somewheres
Ashley: BUT YOU AREN'T ASIAN OR SOMEWHERES THIS IS AMERICA AND MANTI ARE MEAN
Ashley: NEXT SOMEONE WILL TELL ME ROACHES ARE LUCKY DDD: I WILL KILL THAT PERSON
Me: THIS DIGRESSION IS NOT HELPING STORYTELLING TIME
Ashley: OH SORRY
Ashley: I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE
Ashley: DID THE MANTIS COME FROM THE BAG
Ashley: I THOUGHT WE WERE READY TO THROWDOWN ON BUGS
Me: Okay, SO, I see that there is a folded up newspaper, like, right behind the bag of chips, and the camera inside my head zoomed in to my face and I thought "I...have a plan!"
Ashley: PLANS ARE GOOD
Me: IKR? R.
Me: So, I, like, pick up the news paper and I, like, put it down in front of LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL
Ashley: EVIL TOTES
Me: Which: sidecar, I think I called him giant, but, in reality he was, like, maybe an inch big. Like, BB mantis status (and no, they aren't cute BBs. Just...like...smaller and stealthier)
Ashley: DDD: THIS IS NOT A FUN STORY
Me: So, LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL puts his legs on the papers and does this, like, "PSYCHE! OH! I TOTALLY HAD YOU! No really, I don't want that shit." and starts RUNNING THE OTHER WAY.
Me: And I'm like OMGWTF, GET ON THE FRIGGING NEWSPAPER
Ashley: WUT
Me: So, we quarrel, and he goes in circles and then I'm all like "Wait, I saw this in a Kung Fu movie once" so, I divide the newspaper in two and I set a TRAP
Me: which, LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL totes fell victim to
Ashley: TAKE THAT BUG
Me: and then, he's on the paper, rite? and he keeps, like, trying to run to where my hand is, so I have to keep moving my hand, and I'm all like "BROTHER!" ('cause he was in the TV room watching some chick flick [like he does]) "OPEN THE FRIGGIN' BACK DOOR, THERE IS A BUG OF EVIL THAT NEEDS TO GET THROWN OUT BACK"
Me: Meanwhile, no shit, my phone goes off with your text
Ashley: LOL
Ashley: I HAD IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY
Me: IT WAS CHAOS. JUST SAYING, BB.
Me: So, Brother is lallygagging on opening the door, and I'm rounding out of the kitchen with LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL, and I'm switching hands, and trying not to be distracted by ~*TEXT*~ and keeping my eye on the little frigster and Brother gets the door open just in time
Ashley: OMG YOU NEED TO BLOG THIS
Me: and it was like ~*DRAMATIC CLIMAX OF ACTION FILM*~ because I get the LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL outside, like, as a bomb is about to go off or some shit
Me: and, I, like, shake the paper and dude
Me: DUDE
Me: ~*DUDE*~
Me: NOW IS WHEN HE DECIDES "LOL, I DO LIKE NEWSPAPER."
Me: So he is HANGING ON TO THE EDGE OF IT, AND REFUSING TO LET GO
Ashley: OMG BUG MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Me: And, I start trying to, like, shake him off (but not too hard, because I don't want him to, like, fly to my pants or anything. Which, bugs like to do to me), and he's like "SUX4U. SHOULD HAVE KEPT ME INSIDE, I GOTS THE LUCK BITCH."
Me: AND THEN
Me: ARE YOU READY, BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE IS GETS LEGENDARY
Me: SRSLY
Me: LITTLE KITTY OF AMAZING ~*MAGIC*~ swoops in out of literally NO FRIGGIN' WHERE
Me: And SWATS HIS ASS TO THE GROUND, AND POUNCES TO THE KILL
Me: And that's when I go "Oh rite. Maybe I should have just mashed him with the newspaper to begin with."
Me: And I go back in, and see the bag of chips, and was all like "SOOOOOO NOT HUNGRY ANYMOAR."
Me: /fin
Ashley: L
Ashley: O
Ashley: L
Me: SRSLY
Me: So...yeah. That's why I didn't respond to your text right away, and kind of forgot to do so after the EPIC.
Just a reminder: yes, the person writing this blog is that kind of person.
On to the story of which this post was titled after.
This was seriously one of the most traumatic and terrorizing events in the history of ever
At Ashley's request, I am posting the story of the Little Ninja Bug of Evil. This is taken from an AIM conversation between her and myself, and I've tried to edit it slightly to allow it to read easier. By this, I mean I took our constant non-sequiturs (of which, we tend to often have a lot) out of the text to provide just the story.
Little Ninja Bug of Evil:
Me: So, I was all like "I'm hungry" and there was this bag of chips on the counter and it was all like "You should eat me"
Ashley: ARE WE TALKING VIRUS BUG OR INSECT BUG
Me: Insect bug
Me: So, I go and open the bag and go to get a plate and I turn around
Ashley: DDD:
Me: and there was this GIANT FUCKING PRAYING MANTIS RIGHT NEXT TO THE OPEN BAG OF CHIPS
Me: and I was like "OMG!"
Ashley: OMG
Ashley: WHAT DID YOU DO
Me: And I know that they're supposed to be good luck when in the house and some shit I don't even know, but I was like O_O
Ashley: NO
Ashley: THAT'S CRICKETS
Ashley: NOT MANTI
Me: I think it's both.
Me: 'Cause my mom gets super fangirl every time one gets in the house
Ashley: MANTI WILL KILL YOU AFTER MATING, HOW IS THAT LUCKY
Ashley: THAT'S BAD HOOK UP STRATEGY
Me: IKR? But...they're like the fucking ninja of the insect world and that's all like ~*RESPECT*~ in some Asian culture somewheres
Ashley: BUT YOU AREN'T ASIAN OR SOMEWHERES THIS IS AMERICA AND MANTI ARE MEAN
Ashley: NEXT SOMEONE WILL TELL ME ROACHES ARE LUCKY DDD: I WILL KILL THAT PERSON
Me: THIS DIGRESSION IS NOT HELPING STORYTELLING TIME
Ashley: OH SORRY
Ashley: I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE
Ashley: DID THE MANTIS COME FROM THE BAG
Ashley: I THOUGHT WE WERE READY TO THROWDOWN ON BUGS
Me: Okay, SO, I see that there is a folded up newspaper, like, right behind the bag of chips, and the camera inside my head zoomed in to my face and I thought "I...have a plan!"
Ashley: PLANS ARE GOOD
Me: IKR? R.
Me: So, I, like, pick up the news paper and I, like, put it down in front of LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL
Ashley: EVIL TOTES
Me: Which: sidecar, I think I called him giant, but, in reality he was, like, maybe an inch big. Like, BB mantis status (and no, they aren't cute BBs. Just...like...smaller and stealthier)
Ashley: DDD: THIS IS NOT A FUN STORY
Me: So, LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL puts his legs on the papers and does this, like, "PSYCHE! OH! I TOTALLY HAD YOU! No really, I don't want that shit." and starts RUNNING THE OTHER WAY.
Me: And I'm like OMGWTF, GET ON THE FRIGGING NEWSPAPER
Ashley: WUT
Me: So, we quarrel, and he goes in circles and then I'm all like "Wait, I saw this in a Kung Fu movie once" so, I divide the newspaper in two and I set a TRAP
Me: which, LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL totes fell victim to
Ashley: TAKE THAT BUG
Me: and then, he's on the paper, rite? and he keeps, like, trying to run to where my hand is, so I have to keep moving my hand, and I'm all like "BROTHER!" ('cause he was in the TV room watching some chick flick [like he does]) "OPEN THE FRIGGIN' BACK DOOR, THERE IS A BUG OF EVIL THAT NEEDS TO GET THROWN OUT BACK"
Me: Meanwhile, no shit, my phone goes off with your text
Ashley: LOL
Ashley: I HAD IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY
Me: IT WAS CHAOS. JUST SAYING, BB.
Me: So, Brother is lallygagging on opening the door, and I'm rounding out of the kitchen with LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL, and I'm switching hands, and trying not to be distracted by ~*TEXT*~ and keeping my eye on the little frigster and Brother gets the door open just in time
Ashley: OMG YOU NEED TO BLOG THIS
Me: and it was like ~*DRAMATIC CLIMAX OF ACTION FILM*~ because I get the LITTLE NINJA BUG OF EVIL outside, like, as a bomb is about to go off or some shit
Me: and, I, like, shake the paper and dude
Me: DUDE
Me: ~*DUDE*~
Me: NOW IS WHEN HE DECIDES "LOL, I DO LIKE NEWSPAPER."
Me: So he is HANGING ON TO THE EDGE OF IT, AND REFUSING TO LET GO
Ashley: OMG BUG MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Me: And, I start trying to, like, shake him off (but not too hard, because I don't want him to, like, fly to my pants or anything. Which, bugs like to do to me), and he's like "SUX4U. SHOULD HAVE KEPT ME INSIDE, I GOTS THE LUCK BITCH."
Me: AND THEN
Me: ARE YOU READY, BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE IS GETS LEGENDARY
Me: SRSLY
Me: LITTLE KITTY OF AMAZING ~*MAGIC*~ swoops in out of literally NO FRIGGIN' WHERE
Me: And SWATS HIS ASS TO THE GROUND, AND POUNCES TO THE KILL
Me: And that's when I go "Oh rite. Maybe I should have just mashed him with the newspaper to begin with."
Me: And I go back in, and see the bag of chips, and was all like "SOOOOOO NOT HUNGRY ANYMOAR."
Me: /fin
Ashley: L
Ashley: O
Ashley: L
Me: SRSLY
Me: So...yeah. That's why I didn't respond to your text right away, and kind of forgot to do so after the EPIC.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
My Photographs, Let Me Show You Them
I finally updated my Deviant Art. Which, it usually takes me a while to get around to anyway, but this time I felt especially silly, as, the pictures were taken over a week ago and I didn't bother to take them off of my camera and onto my computer until today.
But, aside from that, I am pleased with these pictures. Because I like Ferris Wheels. Being pleased with them means that I am posting them all over the internet. For serious.
Carnival Collision by ~Aelfie on deviantART
Current updated gallery here (the first seven are the updates), and corresponding DA journal entry here in case you were wondering. I know, my blog entries on DA are, like, so in depth and stuff and rly srsly almost explain too much.
Also, still no Snape Doll, though, Ashley reports that she received her hats and is parading in them. Success!
But, aside from that, I am pleased with these pictures. Because I like Ferris Wheels. Being pleased with them means that I am posting them all over the internet. For serious.
Carnival Collision by ~Aelfie on deviantART
Current updated gallery here (the first seven are the updates), and corresponding DA journal entry here in case you were wondering. I know, my blog entries on DA are, like, so in depth and stuff and rly srsly almost explain too much.
Also, still no Snape Doll, though, Ashley reports that she received her hats and is parading in them. Success!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Snape Actiong Figure Saga Rages On
I finished knitting the people hats for my friend, and right as I did, her check came in the mail for them. Squee!
So, today, I went and mailed them off, as well as stopped by the bank in order to deposit the check, only to have some Bitch McBitcherson try to set me up for fraud by removing my name from my bank account because (are you ready for this?) I called her out on using a bitchy tone with me. No rly. So, the shit hit the fan, so to say, and I had to go down to the main branch, get my account fixed, and get her fired.
After ALL that, the check cleared and I have now placed my order for my Snape-y Action Figure, which I am already in anticipation for, even though Amazon estimates it won't be delivered until at least the nineteenth. *jitters*
Also, a few girls down at the coffee shop fell in love with the hat, and have placed orders for similar designs, but in different colors. I guess I should have realized that by dubbing a hat "cutest beanie in the world", girls were going to want it.
As for pictures, I forgot to take them before sending the hats off, so hopefully Ashley will be a wonderful sport and model extraordinaire and take pictures for me.
All of this for a Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. I think I'll find it worth it all in the end.
So, today, I went and mailed them off, as well as stopped by the bank in order to deposit the check, only to have some Bitch McBitcherson try to set me up for fraud by removing my name from my bank account because (are you ready for this?) I called her out on using a bitchy tone with me. No rly. So, the shit hit the fan, so to say, and I had to go down to the main branch, get my account fixed, and get her fired.
After ALL that, the check cleared and I have now placed my order for my Snape-y Action Figure, which I am already in anticipation for, even though Amazon estimates it won't be delivered until at least the nineteenth. *jitters*
Also, a few girls down at the coffee shop fell in love with the hat, and have placed orders for similar designs, but in different colors. I guess I should have realized that by dubbing a hat "cutest beanie in the world", girls were going to want it.
As for pictures, I forgot to take them before sending the hats off, so hopefully Ashley will be a wonderful sport and model extraordinaire and take pictures for me.
All of this for a Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. I think I'll find it worth it all in the end.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Solution to a Previously Mentioned Problem
Remember how I really wanted the most amazing thing EVER, but I couldn't afford him? Well, here's to the ladies that lunch, because my "bestie", Ashley, has made my action-figure acquiring dreams come true by purchasing two hats for people heads, thus enabling having the money to purchase a Snape doll action figure.
The first hat she had picked to be made? A Jayne hat. Of course.
Now, the second is one of my original designs, for which (regrettably), I have no pictures. Having already finished the Jayne hat, I am working on a red Buttons and Bows Beanie now. I am thinking that I am going to work on it while watching a movie. For some reason (I must feel like I’m in need of turning my brain to mush), I think I’m going to make that movie be Twilight.
Oh, Twilight. Oh, oh, oh!
(Not so) secretly, the only reason I watch this movie is because, in my heart, I like thinking “it’s okay! Cedric isn’t dead, he’s just a vampire. A broody, broody vampire. That doesn’t eat people. And kind of resembles a caveman, since having gotten an awful haircut.”
Pointless entry? Why yes, this was. Except for the part about soon getting the best action figure ever (so close!).
[EDIT]
Also, I went to the craft store today and was in the knitting section (which is a dangerous place for me to be because I want to buy, like, everything) and I went to go oggle the bamboo needles because I'm one pair short of a complete set of size 10 bamboos, when, LO! They were having a sale. Two dollars for my last two needles.
FRIG. I AM SO AWESOME.
The first hat she had picked to be made? A Jayne hat. Of course.
Now, the second is one of my original designs, for which (regrettably), I have no pictures. Having already finished the Jayne hat, I am working on a red Buttons and Bows Beanie now. I am thinking that I am going to work on it while watching a movie. For some reason (I must feel like I’m in need of turning my brain to mush), I think I’m going to make that movie be Twilight.
Oh, Twilight. Oh, oh, oh!
(Not so) secretly, the only reason I watch this movie is because, in my heart, I like thinking “it’s okay! Cedric isn’t dead, he’s just a vampire. A broody, broody vampire. That doesn’t eat people. And kind of resembles a caveman, since having gotten an awful haircut.”
Pointless entry? Why yes, this was. Except for the part about soon getting the best action figure ever (so close!).
[EDIT]
Also, I went to the craft store today and was in the knitting section (which is a dangerous place for me to be because I want to buy, like, everything) and I went to go oggle the bamboo needles because I'm one pair short of a complete set of size 10 bamboos, when, LO! They were having a sale. Two dollars for my last two needles.
FRIG. I AM SO AWESOME.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Introduction to a New World
Hello, blogosphere. My name is Rita, and I come in peace.
I have decided to keep a blog of myself because I have vair important thoughts that I feel the need to share (such as: why Cryptozoology is cooler than you, whether Jurassic Park should be considered fiction anymore, and the importance of having a cat). I don't have a lot of intention of updating about my personal life, but I do have intention to occasionally include fandoms I belong it, news about my knitting, and mostly just the raves that may or may not pop into my mind.
With that being said, I'm going to go ahead and jump right into my knitting (you know, like I said I would only do occasionally).
You see, I was watching a making-of of Coraline, where I saw the costume designer knitting clothes for the little clay figures with sewing needles and thread. Here's where I get crazy because I saw this and thought to myself, "I could totes do that." So, I get my dull needles and my thread, and I realize I don't have a doll to knit for. Up comes in conversation with friends about a Jayne Cobb Action Figure not coming with a Jayne hat. Well, I've made Jayne hats. I could make one for the doll, only, I still don't have a doll to knit for so I can get size comparisons. I mean, I have Snow White, but she's much too tall, and I will never put a hat on her hair (I think she'd kill me in my sleep if I ruined her perfect do). And, I have an Evil Queen figurine, but she is only four inches tall (again, the size, not happening for me).
So, okay, I'll browse teh intornets.
And then, it happens. I see adoll action figure I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE (keep in mind kids, I haven't HAD to have any sort of doll since Disneyland five years ago [Snow]). But, he's $45. And I'm poor.
"Well," says friend with Jayne Cobb doll, "I can pay you good money for the Jayne Hat for my Jayne."
I smell a vicious circle.
I'm thinking it's time to make an Etsy account that becomes fully realized to, you know, sell people clothes.
I have decided to keep a blog of myself because I have vair important thoughts that I feel the need to share (such as: why Cryptozoology is cooler than you, whether Jurassic Park should be considered fiction anymore, and the importance of having a cat). I don't have a lot of intention of updating about my personal life, but I do have intention to occasionally include fandoms I belong it, news about my knitting, and mostly just the raves that may or may not pop into my mind.
With that being said, I'm going to go ahead and jump right into my knitting (you know, like I said I would only do occasionally).
You see, I was watching a making-of of Coraline, where I saw the costume designer knitting clothes for the little clay figures with sewing needles and thread. Here's where I get crazy because I saw this and thought to myself, "I could totes do that." So, I get my dull needles and my thread, and I realize I don't have a doll to knit for. Up comes in conversation with friends about a Jayne Cobb Action Figure not coming with a Jayne hat. Well, I've made Jayne hats. I could make one for the doll, only, I still don't have a doll to knit for so I can get size comparisons. I mean, I have Snow White, but she's much too tall, and I will never put a hat on her hair (I think she'd kill me in my sleep if I ruined her perfect do). And, I have an Evil Queen figurine, but she is only four inches tall (again, the size, not happening for me).
So, okay, I'll browse teh intornets.
And then, it happens. I see a
"Well," says friend with Jayne Cobb doll, "I can pay you good money for the Jayne Hat for my Jayne."
I smell a vicious circle.
I'm thinking it's time to make an Etsy account that becomes fully realized to, you know, sell people clothes.
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